sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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