Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
