I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
well you can't waste a boner
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize