sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I need a beard to bite.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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