Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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