I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize