Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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