i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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