shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
