this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
