I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
