my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Acid is not a monday night drug
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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