i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
