hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
