For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
