I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
