I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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