Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He passed out mid-signature
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
