I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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