we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just had sex on a roof
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
