She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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