he thought i was a dude.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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