Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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