My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize