Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
