I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
