turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
