you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
