After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
