I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize