I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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