Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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