So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
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