i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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