He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
