Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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