im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize