Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
