So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
