Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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