Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Oh god it's open bar.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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