Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
