so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
