I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
