Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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