I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
