make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
