i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
