I am puke
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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