my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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