it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
