I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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