So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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