I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
