You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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