Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
