Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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