Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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