I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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