We need to rekindle our bromance
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
