genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
