Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i think i just lost a toe
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize