Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize