O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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