I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
